A recent survey of 1,000 American households found that splurging is alive and well in the US despite uncertain economic times. According to CNN.com, Americans continue to splurge because it just feels good and they have been conditioned to go out and get that new Coach bag or iPhone even if they can’t afford it. This habit can cause more than just the destruction of credit ratings and the increase in mortgage foreclosures–it takes down marriages too.
Couples talked about spending nightmares in which significant others ran through their partner’s savings and blew the mortgage money on compulsive purchases. For example, in 2001, Joe Peacock had a $160,000 a year job in software design, and he was not in the habit of denying himself anything he wanted. Then, he lost his job–but not his spending habit. Until he realized that he had racked up $70,000 in credit card debt and was in serious trouble.
Joe gave up his addiction–and like all addictions it took real willpower. He learned to avoid spending by keeping himself very busy. ”I learned how to entertain myself with everyday pursuits, like running, riding a bike, hiking, and drawing in my sketchbook,” he says. “These things cost nothing.” Happily, he and his wife paid off their creditors and stayed together.
Others were not so lucky. Marisa Vallbona’s shopaholic husband was unable to stop, even for his family’s sake. “I loved him dearly, but in the end, I realized that if I didn’t divorce him, my kids and I would end up on the street.” Kit Yarrow, a consumer psychologist at Golden Gate University in San Francisco has some tips for salvaging credit ratings, bank accounts, and relationships:
* Face it together and commit to overcoming the problem as a couple.
* Determine what psychological issues are triggering the spending problem. Counseling can help with this.
* Create a spending plan in writing and have everyone involved sign it.
* Stick reminders everywhere. She recommends something like a love note: ‘With a love like ours, who needs new shoes?’ rather than an admonishment: ‘No shoes!’
For most families, relationships and the home are top priorities. Don’t lose both by overspending in today’s economy.

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